Best in Show: Horror Shorts (Pt. II of II)

5. Bedfellows

Like Tuck Me In, Bedfellows is sure to make sleep just that much more difficult. There's something about bed time and the ominous nature of the possibilities of something being in your bed that is just so terrifying and this short capitalizes on these fears. Featuring a jolt ending that'll take your breath away, Bedfellows is a lean and tight scare that'll probably stick around long after its runtime.

4. Blackout

 Is there any fear more primal than that of darkness? The answer is no and for good reason. Darkness - even in familiar settings - feels foreign - this is why Blackout is so effective. The absence of familiarity and security created by darkness, especially if that darkness is cast upon you suddenly and by an unknown action is so terrifying that when it happens in Blackout viewers will instantly know something is very wrong. Like many horror shorts, this one also includes an amazing final jump scare, so grip your seat tightly and get ready.

3. Light Out

By far the most well-known on the list, it goes without saying that Lights Out is a standout. While the movie expands and changes up the mythology created by the original short, it's tiny beginnings certainly impress. From the end jump scene to the shadowy figure visible only through backlighting, Lights Out catapulted horror shorts to a larger audience. Points are additionally given for the actress who also stars in the not as good, but still scary, Pictured (They're both directed by David Sandberg). There's really not more to be said, if you know someone who hasn't seen it, make them.

2. Vicious

Both Vicious and Blackout use similar styles and means to scare audiences. From quiet observances into the dark to simplistic and grounded camera work, each intends to terrify and do so with success. But, what makes Vicious just that much better is an added element of home invasion. There is something so innately terrifying about the character's realization that someone broke into her home and could possibly still be there. It is one of my biggest fears and is one of the most practical short horror films available as it opts for fear over any other cinematic prowess. From start to end, Vicious is, well, vicious.

1. The Smiling Man

While Vicious is incredibly scary, it is The Smiling Man that takes this list cake. Equally suspenseful as it is well done, I would argue that more than any other movie on this list, this short's mythology could and should be made into a feature length. The little girl is a terrific actress and as she presses forward on a trail of balloons, The Smiling Man is able to engross viewers. It's the type of horror short that will legitimately be trapped in your brain, preventing sleep for the days following. The end reveal is one of the most horrific and terrifying moments in modern horror as audiences and the little girl try to cope as to what is in their face. Is the smiling man a crazed person or some supernatural entity? That is something a feature length film, if well-done, could explore.

 

 

Best in Show: Horror Shorts (Pt. I of II)

Spending far too much time mining YouTube as well as various other sites listing greatest short horror films, the list below sums up the scariest and best horror shorts out there. Regardless of cinematography, quality of acting or the end result these are the strongest horror films for a quick jolt or a long-term haunt. Whereas many of the videos I found pulled more toward art than toward horror, the videos below are truly scary.

10. Ghost Car

Iconic is an understatement. If you went to school in the internet age, chances are one of your friends showed you this video as a prank. Regardless of how it has stood the test of time (it hasn't), this "car commercial" is perhaps one of the greatest short horror films out there. It's so simple and yet, I can guarantee witnessing it brings back all of the now comical nostalgia of youth. This video isn't fantastic in any way, but it most certainly did the job if you got someone to sit down and watch it, especially if they hadn't seen the title or read the description.

9. Pictured

I placed Pictured on this list for one technique: its use of a shaking picture frame. The acting in this short film isn't great, the eventual graphics aren't either - but, what is great is the moment in which the young woman whips toward the picture frame to see it in motion, something out of frame propelling it. It's one of those moments that strike a deep chord. Pictured falls apart outside of this, but  the work done by a shaking picture frame is worthy enough to scare people the same way mirrors have since the beginning of time.

8. Tuck Me In

Tuck Me In is a disturbing little film. While not the end all be all of horror, this short does enough of a good job to make adults question whether or not they feel comfortable checking under the bed themselves. One of the best parts about Tuck Me In is its ability to create strong suspense within a limited amount of time. While some horror movies take entire runtimes to create an atmosphere of seat-grabbing, this short does it in a matter of seconds, and by the inconclusive ending, audiences will feel severely frightened and desperately unsatisfied.

7. Cop Cam

This short feels very conventional, but it's carry through is powerful enough to earn a spot on this list. After acting on a 911 alert, a cop enters a home and soon realizes there is more at work within than a typical emergency. There's little establishment, but the difficulties of this are overcome by the first-person perspective of this dark film. Cop Cam is stylized almost like a horror video game in that it truly immerses the viewer in whatever world it exists in. Definitely one to watch in the dark.

 6. Box (Begins at 3:42)

As one of the 3:07 videos partnered by Vice and The Conjuring, Box is a strikingly short and horrifying video with very little context and plenty to give someone nightmares. It's directed by Ti West and features no plot, tons of vintage style and a creepy clown that gives It a run for its money. It's the type of gif-able short that does better in a series than it possibly would as a standalone video, but after seeing it, one can expect to be severely unsettled.

The Overlook: Clown

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With all the clown hysteria and talk revolving around the It remake, audiences looking for some craving satisfaction should look toward a recent release, Clown. Directed by Jon Watts (Cop Car), this film follows a husband who tries on a cursed clown costume that begins melding into him. Trying to remove the costume, the man disfigures his body. Then, as the haunted costume begins to possess him, things spiral out of control. Viewers can expect blood, gore and a lot of cringe-worthy moments, especially considering Eli Roth's attachment as a producer. Clown stars Andy Powers (In Her Shoes) as the father, Kent and Laura Allen (The 4400) as his wife, Meg.

As noted, this film is gore-to-the-floor. From his transformation to his eventual attempts at removing the costume, including a red nose removal, Clown will have you cringing in your seat. It is amazing that a story that starts off with wanting to make their child happy on their birthday, spirals so far out of control. Even the lighting of this film is sure to induce nausea as Kent faces the very real possibility that he is losing himself to a demonic clown presence. The film truly takes a turn after the reveal that Kent's possessed by an evil demon seeking children to eat. After a series of failed attempts and multiple butcherings, audiences can expect their stomachs to be well-turned.

This film is disturbed. For those looking for no catches and a simple movie without more dilemma, this is not it. The way to stop this an-eating clown is with the consumption of children, after all, and it should go without saying that the difficult decisions Meg makes will be turn offs for some. It's a relentless little film that packs a hammering punch. Like many gore-horror, there is little redemption, even in the closing scenes of Clown.

Clown, taken lightly can be a fun, dark jaunt into an alternative world of terrifying jest visuals and stark portraits of humanity. The acting, at times isn't the greatest, but it's certainly not the worst. For people looking to fill some sort of clown quota and are unable to sit through the three-hour It film, they should look for this movie. Because, like the demon at the center of Clown, audiences seem to have an undeniable craving for off-putting costumes and terrifying scenes of jesters and children.

Review: Be Afraid



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This review will be short - the worthwhileness in writing it is simply to acknowledge the fact that I sat through it in its entirety. And, while this review takes on a more candid tone and leaves behind the typical standards of review writing, Be Afraid is an insult to horror and deserves nothing more. Equally bad as it is boring, confusing and ultimately dumb (there's not an elegant way to say it), Be Afraid is weaker than any horror movie out this year- indie or otherwise. Where one could typically toss its failures to a lower budget or an indie release, the fact of the matter is, this film is absolute nothingness.

Be Afraid is about a family that moves into an older house where something happened to the previous tenants. There's a ghoul that spearheads the scares, seemingly plucked from the documentary The Nightmare, and at various points a young love story featuring a girl who feels trapped in the hometown she grew up in and a returning stepson with a past, seems to bud. To be honest, that's my synopsis takeaway and I'm not entirely sure it's all right, but it doesn't look like the filmmakers cared to make it clear in the first place. The film stars an ensemble of actors who I won't name as not to mar their careers.

It's the type of film made without care, without passion and most certainly, without the intent to interest its audience. There's nothing scary, thoughtful or comical about Be Afraid. It's never funny-bad so that it could at least hope to end up in a movie pack in Wal-Mart or good enough to even find some sort of middle ground, instead it's simply an unfortunate film without any redeemable qualities, for B-fans, indie fans or horror fans in general.

While it'd probably be argued that this film was loved and cared for; that someone somewhere out there held it near and dear to their heart, but the simple fact of the matter is that if someone did care, it got entirely lost in translation. Be Afraid is a confusing, muddled mess with stereotypical roles and problems. The transitions between scenes, conversations and scares are disjointed and out-of-place and scenes seem directly plucked from far superior films. 1 out 10.

 

Review: Prevenge



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A strong contender as one of the strangest film's this year is Prevenge. Following the story of a pregnant woman who believes her child is speaking to her; Prevenge is an absurdly dark horror-comedy with gumption. It's the type of movie that doesn't seem concerned with how the audience feels about it, because it is so sure in how it feels about it. Prevenge takes prenatal horror in a strange direction as the crude central character, Ruth, unhappy in her life takes a turn toward killing because of her baby’s pension for it. Prevenge is not for everyone at all, but as noted, it doesn't want to be.

Prevenge stars a particularly quirky Alice Lowe (Hot Fuzz) as mother-to-be, Ruth; she holds the entire film on her shoulders as the sole character with substantial dialogue and multiple scenes. She's fantastically droll, but also really interesting to observe as she interweaves with secondary characters and plots their murders. Other supporting actors include Gemma Whelan (Game of Thrones) as a woman who has no time for Ruth, Kate Dickie (The Witch) as an employer with literally no life outside of her job, and Jo Hartley (This Is England) as a midwife frequented by Ruth. Dickie is especially fantastic; her slightly unhinged working woman is hilariously desperate and unconventional.

Prevenge is never scary in the literal sense. It leans heavily toward dark comedy and while it holds some horror aspects, it certainly doesn't adhere to its conventions. Perhaps the scariest parts of Prevenge - and probably intentional pieces of the movie, are the gross encounters she has with people who don’t care, are outwardly rude or are completely ignorant to her very real problems a pregnant woman faces. In fact, the death scenes are more fun than they are anything else, with precursory that even if her baby isn't talking to her, these people deserve to be killed by Ruth.

One of the oddest parts about Prevenge is in its lack of backstory. The film practically falls into the center of the story. Ruth is deeply pregnant and already hears her baby, neither are explained past brief comments and by the end of the movie, viewers won't t ever truly understand what happened and why, only that it did. There's subtext that is progressive, the nurturing mother figure so typical of stereotypes is broken apart, making way for a single woman unable to cope with her pregnancy and the issues she faces.

As mentioned previously, Prevenge will not be for everyone. It's very British and at times, low budget. But, for its lack of camera prowess and cinematography, the film makes up for in campy fun and a pretty entertaining performance from Alice Lowe. It's the type of movie that'll never make you hold your breath or scream, but it will engross you in a wayward world of talking fetuses and offbeat pregnancy. 6 out 10.

 

Best in Show: Remaking the Classics (Part II of II)

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5. Halloween (2007)

When Rob Zombie remade the original Halloween he received a lot of flak. Some of it was warranted but, for the most part, the 2007 rendition of Halloween is fantastic. Far gorier, far more disturbed and almost as scary, Zombie's Halloween is a completely bloody nightmare. It's the type of movie that will stun you to watch. The unstoppable Michael Myers is particularly unstoppable in this one, with a much more grotesque and terrifying composure.  And, while some of the explicit moments could have been reeled in, the unraveled heap of torture is horrifying.

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4. Sorority Row (2006)

If When a Stranger Calls is the pinnacle of my high school horror days, then Sorority Row was a very close runner up. This movie is a pure, unattached mid-2000s slasher. It never once strives to be anything thought provoking but is so confident in it that it is amazing. From Carrie Fisher's house mother to the sorority girl nicknamed Jugs, this classic remake was an updated thrill ride of seismic proportions. The deaths are entertainment-driven and the dwindling numbers fed into all of the cliché, horror conventions known to man. It truly is one of the most thrilling, yet simultaneously comedic films to come out of the industry.

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3. The Crazies (2010)

The Crazies terrified me. It's the type of movie that never really fails to impress, regardless of how many times you see it. With compelling characters, an innate ability to capture an early post-apocalyptic atmosphere and an insane quarantine scene where a crazed person brings a pitchfork into a hospital room filled with restrained patients, this movie left me on the edge of my seat. And, while it arguably is better than the original and was received as such, the 2010 The Crazies definitely pays homage to its source material. It truly is an outstanding horror movie and generally underrated.

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2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Remaking such an iconic classic can be really hard. But, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake featuring Jessica Biel in one of her best roles to date is an undeniably strong film. With all of the grotesque features of the first, paired with spectacularly terrifying moments, this 2003 rendition worked way better than it should have. I remember one specific scene where Biel’s character and Leatherface are in the abandoned slaughterhouse and at one point he lunges underneath some grating after her. The room of people I watched it with unanimously shot out of their seats in fear, in what is perhaps one of the greatest jump scares of all time.

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1. Evil Dead (2013)

The cult classic Evil Dead invokes a lot of nostalgia from horror experts and intense fans everywhere. That's why it's particularly surprising how well this remake was received. Aside from the fact that it is particularly well-done, from the gore to the intense camerawork, every single moment of this film is heart-pounding. Evil Dead is an inexplicable masterpiece that runs parallel to the original. It truly deserves all of the credit it receives as such a stark, aggressively raw addition to a genre that by 2013 was relatively glossing over. Fair warning: it's incredibly dark and cold, so be ready if somehow you've missed it.

 

Best in Show: Remaking the Classics (Part I of II)

In honor of the release of the It trailer; I decided to dedicate this week's list to the remakes that are actually worthwhile. Taken with a grain of salt and acknowledging the lack of creativity in simply recreating old movies, I truly believe that these are worthwhile films that deserve a little more credit. I'd never suggest that they're groundbreaking or overly fantastic but some and especially those that make the top 5, may have undeservedly received tough critiques. Remakes, especially in the horror genre, are going nowhere and it's time we take a look at them and appreciate that we're getting anything at all. Except when they're actually bad (Poltergeist), then they can be critiqued harsher.

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10. The Omen (2006)

The 2006 remake of The Omen isn't anything special, but for what it lacks in groundbreaking material it certainly makes up for in being a well-done, creepy adventure. There's moments - like the skewering of the priest, which is done terrifically, while the acting of the recreated characters is just as strong as the original. For the parents, replaced by Julia Stiles (Out of the Dark) and Liev Schreiber (Scream), their performance as somewhat out of touch socialites is noteworthy. The Omen isn't that out of this world, but it certainly isn't awful; like something you'd tune into Chiller for on a Saturday morning.

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9. House of Wax (2005)

The remake of the classic House of Wax features all of the updated conventions of mid-2000s horror. With the Ill-lit, over the top gore and subpar-acting this remake encapsulated everything this era represents. But, what should have damaged the film far more than it did, made it a campy sometimes scary adventure. It's a pillar of the time period it came out during; featuring Paris Hilton Jared Padalecki and Chad Michael Murray - all icons of my teenage years, whether or not you prescribed to what they were selling.

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8. Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

This movie basically killed the 2000s remake subgenre. From its foundation it was lampooned for being the straw that broke the camel's back, and while horror remakes like Evil Dead and the awful Texas Chainsaw 3D followed, the willingness to toss money at a remake began to slow. For somewhat understandable reason, The Nightmare on Elm Street remake received a ton of backlash for it’s glossed over and copycat identity. But, looking past the fact that it is in fact a remake, which everyone who went and saw this movie knew, yet simultaneously complained about in the months following, the end result isn't all that bad. Rooney Mara (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) is a terrific actress, even if she later complained about the movie, and for the most part, it did stay true to the original while making slight updates.  I'd argue this film has plenty of scares, too. In fact, one character that falls asleep while swimming made me terrified of the empty lap pools I used to exercise in for years following.



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7. Dawn of the Dead (2004) & The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

These two remakes made quite the splash when they were released- Dawn of the Dead came out to critical acclaim as it nodded to the original and expanded, and The Hills Have Eyes experienced great commercial success as it grossed out viewers everywhere. For the two, their pros seemed almost redeemable given their remake foundation and each resonated with audiences of mid-2000s horror. Even faced with some horror experts' critiques, The Hills Have Eyes stood out as a terrifying venture into the mutant cannibal, and as noted Dawn of the Dead somehow managed to maintain an unmarred image as it brought zombies back into the limelight with, gasp, a zombie baby. Each deserve a spot on this list as both were scary and at the very least, memorable.



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6. When a Stranger Calls (2009)

This movie remake was everything to my friends in high school. We saw it so many times our eyes were basically falling out. But it was that first time we saw it, when we were all left terrified of our typical babysitting positions. When the man appears in the rafters, we all lunged from our seats. I included this movie on this list for the very fact that, regardless of acting or style, this film is pure nostalgia. Everything about this movie spoke to my group of friends, and while I didn't see the original for many years after, I can say that this rendition is most certainly a worthwhile endeavor.