Best in Show: Remaking the Classics (Part II of II)

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5. Halloween (2007)

When Rob Zombie remade the original Halloween he received a lot of flak. Some of it was warranted but, for the most part, the 2007 rendition of Halloween is fantastic. Far gorier, far more disturbed and almost as scary, Zombie's Halloween is a completely bloody nightmare. It's the type of movie that will stun you to watch. The unstoppable Michael Myers is particularly unstoppable in this one, with a much more grotesque and terrifying composure.  And, while some of the explicit moments could have been reeled in, the unraveled heap of torture is horrifying.

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4. Sorority Row (2006)

If When a Stranger Calls is the pinnacle of my high school horror days, then Sorority Row was a very close runner up. This movie is a pure, unattached mid-2000s slasher. It never once strives to be anything thought provoking but is so confident in it that it is amazing. From Carrie Fisher's house mother to the sorority girl nicknamed Jugs, this classic remake was an updated thrill ride of seismic proportions. The deaths are entertainment-driven and the dwindling numbers fed into all of the cliché, horror conventions known to man. It truly is one of the most thrilling, yet simultaneously comedic films to come out of the industry.

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3. The Crazies (2010)

The Crazies terrified me. It's the type of movie that never really fails to impress, regardless of how many times you see it. With compelling characters, an innate ability to capture an early post-apocalyptic atmosphere and an insane quarantine scene where a crazed person brings a pitchfork into a hospital room filled with restrained patients, this movie left me on the edge of my seat. And, while it arguably is better than the original and was received as such, the 2010 The Crazies definitely pays homage to its source material. It truly is an outstanding horror movie and generally underrated.

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2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Remaking such an iconic classic can be really hard. But, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake featuring Jessica Biel in one of her best roles to date is an undeniably strong film. With all of the grotesque features of the first, paired with spectacularly terrifying moments, this 2003 rendition worked way better than it should have. I remember one specific scene where Biel’s character and Leatherface are in the abandoned slaughterhouse and at one point he lunges underneath some grating after her. The room of people I watched it with unanimously shot out of their seats in fear, in what is perhaps one of the greatest jump scares of all time.

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1. Evil Dead (2013)

The cult classic Evil Dead invokes a lot of nostalgia from horror experts and intense fans everywhere. That's why it's particularly surprising how well this remake was received. Aside from the fact that it is particularly well-done, from the gore to the intense camerawork, every single moment of this film is heart-pounding. Evil Dead is an inexplicable masterpiece that runs parallel to the original. It truly deserves all of the credit it receives as such a stark, aggressively raw addition to a genre that by 2013 was relatively glossing over. Fair warning: it's incredibly dark and cold, so be ready if somehow you've missed it.

 

Best in Show: Remaking the Classics (Part I of II)

In honor of the release of the It trailer; I decided to dedicate this week's list to the remakes that are actually worthwhile. Taken with a grain of salt and acknowledging the lack of creativity in simply recreating old movies, I truly believe that these are worthwhile films that deserve a little more credit. I'd never suggest that they're groundbreaking or overly fantastic but some and especially those that make the top 5, may have undeservedly received tough critiques. Remakes, especially in the horror genre, are going nowhere and it's time we take a look at them and appreciate that we're getting anything at all. Except when they're actually bad (Poltergeist), then they can be critiqued harsher.

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10. The Omen (2006)

The 2006 remake of The Omen isn't anything special, but for what it lacks in groundbreaking material it certainly makes up for in being a well-done, creepy adventure. There's moments - like the skewering of the priest, which is done terrifically, while the acting of the recreated characters is just as strong as the original. For the parents, replaced by Julia Stiles (Out of the Dark) and Liev Schreiber (Scream), their performance as somewhat out of touch socialites is noteworthy. The Omen isn't that out of this world, but it certainly isn't awful; like something you'd tune into Chiller for on a Saturday morning.

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9. House of Wax (2005)

The remake of the classic House of Wax features all of the updated conventions of mid-2000s horror. With the Ill-lit, over the top gore and subpar-acting this remake encapsulated everything this era represents. But, what should have damaged the film far more than it did, made it a campy sometimes scary adventure. It's a pillar of the time period it came out during; featuring Paris Hilton Jared Padalecki and Chad Michael Murray - all icons of my teenage years, whether or not you prescribed to what they were selling.

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8. Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

This movie basically killed the 2000s remake subgenre. From its foundation it was lampooned for being the straw that broke the camel's back, and while horror remakes like Evil Dead and the awful Texas Chainsaw 3D followed, the willingness to toss money at a remake began to slow. For somewhat understandable reason, The Nightmare on Elm Street remake received a ton of backlash for it’s glossed over and copycat identity. But, looking past the fact that it is in fact a remake, which everyone who went and saw this movie knew, yet simultaneously complained about in the months following, the end result isn't all that bad. Rooney Mara (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) is a terrific actress, even if she later complained about the movie, and for the most part, it did stay true to the original while making slight updates.  I'd argue this film has plenty of scares, too. In fact, one character that falls asleep while swimming made me terrified of the empty lap pools I used to exercise in for years following.



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7. Dawn of the Dead (2004) & The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

These two remakes made quite the splash when they were released- Dawn of the Dead came out to critical acclaim as it nodded to the original and expanded, and The Hills Have Eyes experienced great commercial success as it grossed out viewers everywhere. For the two, their pros seemed almost redeemable given their remake foundation and each resonated with audiences of mid-2000s horror. Even faced with some horror experts' critiques, The Hills Have Eyes stood out as a terrifying venture into the mutant cannibal, and as noted Dawn of the Dead somehow managed to maintain an unmarred image as it brought zombies back into the limelight with, gasp, a zombie baby. Each deserve a spot on this list as both were scary and at the very least, memorable.



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6. When a Stranger Calls (2009)

This movie remake was everything to my friends in high school. We saw it so many times our eyes were basically falling out. But it was that first time we saw it, when we were all left terrified of our typical babysitting positions. When the man appears in the rafters, we all lunged from our seats. I included this movie on this list for the very fact that, regardless of acting or style, this film is pure nostalgia. Everything about this movie spoke to my group of friends, and while I didn't see the original for many years after, I can say that this rendition is most certainly a worthwhile endeavor.