Best In Show: Horror's Creepy Kids (Part I of II)

Creepy kids are a staple of the horror genre. No matter what form they take, horror movies seem to always include at least one terrifyingly creepy child. Whether they're on the side of our protagonists like in Signs or are deeply villainous like most of the ones who made this list, children in horror feel necessary. Prior to completing this list I was trying to figure out how to limit myself from going off the rails. The final product includes a lot of ties and pairs to complement my indecision. I also removed children who were creepy but definitely not in opposition to the heroes of our stories. So, children - like the pair in Signs or Aidan from The Ring, are notably absent.



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10. Jason (Friday the 13th)

To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of the original Friday the 13th. It encompasses everything I love in a slasher film - its simplicity, setting and twist ending all should have left me satisfied, but the scares really could have been stronger. In fact, the only scare that really shook me was the one that made this list. Child-Jason, while only occupying a short scene, is perhaps one of the scariest moments in classic horror. It makes me fear for murky water, in the same way Jaws did and definitely deserves a spot on the scariest horror children.

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9. Damien (The Omen)

The original Omen is a classic and for good reason. Despite rarely saying anything, the central character to the film is creepy beyond belief. Damien does little but accomplishes a lot and the deeply rooted anger in his eye's makes for the most unsettling movie. Damien's ability to strike fear in those around him is pretty terrific for the viewer, who inadvertently is also scared in the process. The Omen isn't the greatest movie out there (sorry, not sorry) but Damien is definitely one of the greatest kids in horror.

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8. The Non-Children, Brahms (The Boy), Annabelle (The Conjuring) & Esther (Orphan)

Gosh, what have I done here? The answer is I combined all three of these because technically, they're not children - supernatural or otherwise, but their depiction is that of a child and the scares they provide are definitely noteworthy. Say what you want about The Boy but Brahms is absolutely terrifying. That dark, empty stare paired with surprisingly creepy rules to follow, all make for a character that sent chills down my spine. Then, there's Annabelle. Yeah, she's just a doll but she is a doll of a little girl and a truly iconic face of modern horror. The doll of Annabelle definitely helped push The Conjuring into the limelight and like Brahms, the shallow stares and the not-so-vacant atmosphere set by this character is bone tingling awesomeness. Lastly, Esther. Is there really anything more to say? Just watch any scene of Orphan and you'll instantly be afraid of her icy glare and ability to fake a smile. She could do equally well on some trashy reality show as she does killing those around her.

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7. The Children (Sinister)

While not a tie, this ranking gives way to a group of children that all really deserve a spot. Captured by Baghuul, the group of kids in Sinister is so disturbingly dark that it's hard not to love them. These kids get taken and then proceed to trick and murder their families, all while videotaping it. The true star of Sinister may be the ancient demon at the center, but it's his minions who truly shine as the horrifyingly youthful tyrants. The children of Sinister are all unique in their own way, but equally scary all the same.

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6. The Masked Ones, Tomas (The Orphanage), Sam (Trick r' Treat) & Unnamed Girl (The Houses October Built)

How dare I combine three movies into one ranking, right? Well I did because the unsettling feeling created by each is very similar. There's something about a moving, expressionless face that is deeply troubling and for these movies, this aspect is all the more advantageous. In The Orphanage, the creepy dead child Tomas wears the most pieced together mask as he causes mischief. Then in the cult classic Trick r' Treat, another patchy mask is exhibited to truly unsettle audiences. Then there's my biased favorite: the unnamed girl in The Houses October Built. Not only does she get added bonus for having loose strands of hair attached to her mask, she also gets points for being truly terrifying. When she gets on the RV my heart was thumping out of my chest.

 

Best in Show: Found Footage (II of II)

Here it is, the conclusion to my favorite found-footage horror movies! Below, you'll find a list of the horror movies I cannot get enough of. Shot with shaking hands and filled with scares, I would consider this subgenre to be underrated. Sure, there are one too many, but for the gems listed previously and for those below, the found-footage subgenre owes a lot of gratitude. These movies are fantastically spooky.

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5. The Last Exorcism (2010)

I really love a good exorcism movie. And, with so many out there, I have a ton of options. Unfortunately for that point, quantity doesn't equal quality, and for exorcism movies, there seems to be a slim picking of The Exorcist-level terror. Enter 2010's The Last Exorcism. Easily one of the scariest exorcism movies out there, The Last Exorcism is a gripping addition to the subgenre- even if its use of found-footage isn't that necessary or great. Ashley Bell is amazing (and flexible) as the titular star of the show. Her innocence-turned-evil personality is an incredible transformation worthy of attention.

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4. The Blair Witch Project (1999)

The Blair Witch Project holds the distinct position as being the first found-footage horror movie I ever watched. I cannot necessarily saw what I like so much about this movie. Maybe it's its originality or its atmosphere, but realistically, the first time I saw The Blair Witch Project, I did not enjoy it. However, time and again, every fall I rewatch this movie that I had thought I didn't enjoy. Every time I see it though, I notice something different. Whether it's new sounds or a subtle moment, I grip my seat a little tighter. I really have gone back and forth on my feelings about this movie, but in this post, I do hereby declare, that I've enjoyed 99 out of 100 times I have seen The Blair Witch Project.



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3. As Above, So Below (2014)

I never understood the hatred this movie got. Despite being a relatively original and filled to the brim with scares, the story of an adventurous archaeologist didn't receive much of a warm reception. I've seen this movie numerous times and still cannot figure out what people's problems were with it. Sure it was at peak found-footage hate, but As Above, So Below isn't only scary, it's also really interesting. Even without the scares, this movie would be an entertaining exploration film that delves deep underneath Paris. By knocking out all of the marks that most "bad" horror movies can't overcome, like bad acting and a lack of suspense, As Above, So Below impressed me more than most modern horror films do and continues to do so after every revisit.

2. The House October Built (2014)

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I'll be honest; The Houses October Built will more than likely be included on numerous lists throughout this blog until I'm sure every person ever has seen it. The Houses October Built is a stellar found-footage horror movie that actually makes sense. The whole documentary angle can seem tired and used up, but when there is a topic that would actually be documented with video cameras; like a group of friends searching for the ultimate haunted house, the resulting film can be a grounded and terrifying experience. I love The Houses October Built because it is such an effortless experience that never tries to go above and beyond but is entirely confident in its capabilities.

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1. The Visit (2015)

The Visit is by far one of the best modern horror movies out there. Intentionally funny, equally terrifying and shined with a plot twist that could make classic M. Night Shyamalan happy, this film marked the revival of a director who had become the butt of jokes. The Visit is insane. Each moment of this movie is horrifying. From the darkened hallways where the grandmother runs to the final climactic moments that could take your breath away, Add points for Kathryn Hahn's existence and placement in this movie and also for the scene underneath the house because it was shot in complete daylight proving once and for all that sometimes the scariest things in your life take place under the sun.

 

 

10 Favorite Horror Movies (Ever) (Part II of II)



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5. The Houses October Built

When this movie first came out, its promotional material left me questioning it's quality. I first saw it the weekend after it was released (this is important to note for the validity that I am in fact a taste maker), and since then, it has become a Netflix hit. Prior to its addition to streaming though, this movie was bubbling under the sea with a very small group of fans.

I am so happy it has become better known. As a late entry into the over-saturated found-footage subgenre, The Houses October Built is maybe one of the best. It's a terrifying and realistic movie following a group of friends searching for the biggest "haunt" (what the film calls haunted houses). They take it a step too far and things spiral out of control. What gets to me is the fact that the movie felt like something my friends and I would do or would at least attempt to a lesser extent. The Houses October Built isn't necessarily the most original, but it is a really effective and grounded movie that will leave you at the edge of your seat.

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4. Insidious & Sinister (that's right, another tie)

The next four (five because of Sinister) on this list are undoubtedly modern classics. I decided to place these two movies together because of the level of fear they struck into me. As a fan of Blumhouse, the fact that these movies came from the same company does not surprise me. They are perhaps the most terrifying set of film within the past 10 years, only rivaled by James Wans' The Conjuring (he also made Insidious). I cannot even explain how I felt after watching these movies because they struck such a deep cord.

Even their eventual sequels, while sometimes problematic, are perfectly fine entries into the genre (expect a "In Defense" article on the third Insidious). Bughuul (Sinister) left me with days and nights of little sleep and constant fear (maybe a slight exaggeration, but not much of a stretch). That, paired with every ghost in Insidious has left me deeply troubled. The moments in the baby's room alone- from the horrifying man behind the crib to the baby monitor, make Insidious a worthwhile venture.


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3. The Babadook

One of my proudest moments in my life was watching The Babadook get released. As someone who caught up with the film immediately at the end of its Kickstarter campaign, I felt personally attached to the movie and now, as I have watched it spread its horrifying cape, I can't help but smile. Even without the horror, the story of a woman struggling to raise a problem-prone son would be compelling (Essie Davis is stunning). But, when you add in the lucid scares that seem central to The Babadook, there's no denying this film's power.




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2. The Witch

Widely recognized as one of the best films of 2016 and most certainly the best horror movie of the year, The Witch is a terrific  period piece that's slow burn is powerful. I've talked to some people who did not enjoy this movie and for each of those people, I came to love it even more. The Witch is a piece of art, and a scary one at that. There is literally nothing wrong with this movie. From Black Phillip to each of the actors' and actresses' turns as colonial folk, The Witch is amazing.

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1. The Conjuring

I don't even know what to say about this movie without sounding repetitive of the other entries on the list, except that it is all of the positive things above, and then some. I have been engrossed by this movie ever since I saw a midnight premiere and witnessed an entire audience collectively scream. It felt unreal as the camera panned up to the wardrobe where Bathsheba sat ready to pounce. I don't care how unoriginal it is for this movie to be my favorite, because it simply cannot be beat. I would love for something to challenge it though, just so I can have that moment of being that impressed once more.