Best in Show: Saw Traps (Pt. II of II)

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5. Five-Way Collars

This trap is particularly spectacular because of its later reveal. When five collared strangers wake up and are told that they have to reach keys across the room in 60 seconds, chaos ensues. When one person pulls their collar forward, the other people are pulled back, making for an intense fight for survival. What they don't realize though is, had they gone forward one at a time, they all could have reached their keys in time. This twist, later piling on with the following traps and the "one must die" mentality leads to a bloodbath of seismic proportions. This trap isn't the most glamorous but it is effective and creative.

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4. Pig Vat

The pig vat trap is disgusting. By far one of the most stomach-turning inventions of the series, this trap isn't for the faint of heart. Between what one can assume is an awful smell and the very common fear of drowning, all exasperated by the fact that you'll drown in guts, the pig vat would be one of the worst traps to go through. This trap is simple - one person is chained down at the bottom of a vat while slaughtered pig parts are dropped on top of them, it’s the job of another to get the key. The key comes with an especially difficult task given the character's unwillingness to let things go and burn his children's stuff. Overall, putting your faith in another person is difficult; maybe the only thing more difficult is breathing in a vat of sludge.

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3. Nerve Gas House

In terms of most elaborate, the nerve gas house is probably the most intertwining. Not only was the building filled with traps for its guests to fall victims to, this derelict home was actually a trap in and of itself. The house is simply filled with a gas that slowly kills those trapped in it unless they reached antidotes. While it only actually killed one, the power of the house was more in its ability to unhinge those within.

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2. Needle Pit

Viewers have to wonder if Amanda would have ever gone into the nerve gas house knowing she'd be tossed into the needle pit. This is perhaps one of the most cringe-worthy traps in the entire series. Propelled into absolute terror through the yellow lighting used by the filmmakers and reaffirmed by the way Amanda is just tossed in, this trap is nothing short of awful. Most similar to pulling through a pig container of extremely sharp Legos, the needle pit is the nightmarish trap that would make even the most driven survivors turn away. The franchise really cashed in on viewers' fears of needles with this one and the results are absolutely blinding.

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1. Reverse Bear Trap

Is there anything more iconic than one of the first traps encountered in Saw? The answer is a resounding no. Not even the film's main trap - a bathroom with plenty of twisting clues and a chance to saw off your own foot - can compare to the legendary reverse bear trap. It's hard to know how memorable this series would have become without the showcase of Amanda Young and the bear trap. Surely, there were other characters, but none of those storylines ruminated with the audience the same way this short bit did. It truly kicked off the series. This device stole the hearts of horror fans and its later usage throughout the series only continued its meaningful existence. Will it make a return in Jigsaw? Possibly, but even if it doesn't there's zero chance it'll ever be replaced.

Best in Show: Saw Traps (Pt. I of II)

With the recently retitled Jigsaw movie officially due out this fall, Lionsgate Films officially solidified Saw as a seemingly never-ending story. Sure, each film is filled with flaws and sometimes the gore is more gratuitous than it needs to be, but for what they're worth the franchise has provided creatively provided plenty of blood splattering fun for genre fans eager to consume new material. The series has consistently held down box offices and while not always a critic favorite, the Saw movies are eaten up by audiences. This week's list looks at the scariest, most gruesome traps in the world of Saw.




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10. Steam Maze

At the very least, the steam maze in Saw VI is a sweaty and hot endeavor that could make you faint and die, at the very most; you'll scald your skin and die. So basically, this trap is a lose-lose and for Debbie, it definitely was a loss. It's not the most creative or the goriest trap, but the steam maze would definitely be a struggle for anyone with an aversion to heat. Teamwork also makes this trap especially difficult given the need for someone to constantly be burnt at any given time.

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9. Shotgun Carousel

This is one of the Saw franchises most entertaining traps. Given the opportunity to save 2 out of 7 captives, the shotgun carousel is one of the more intriguing games Jigsaw plays on his victims. By assuring safety to some and threatening others, he created a situation that challenges morality, human dynamics and who "deserves" to continue on in the world. The climactic showdown is maybe not up to the same gory standards as some of the other traps, but it was certainly entertaining for audiences looking to see bad people face consequences.

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8. Spike Pull

In Saw IV, there were plenty of forgettable moments. But, one thing that truly stood out was the spike trap that saw a couple held together with piercing poles. The wife, who had been abused by the husband, had a chance to pull her spikes through and survive, but in the process it would kill her husband. In rare form, this trap gave us a character to root for and alleviated viewers from witnessing another senseless kill. It was a welcome change of pace, even if it was slightly insensitive.

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7. Razor Box

Everyone knows the feeling; you accidentally stuck your appendage into a chair arm or a railing and instant panic sets in realizing you're trapped. This feeling is basically the idea of the razor box trap. Except, in this trap, the hole you stick your hands to is one with the potential to kill you. Not only did the delirious Addison fail to notice the key on the opposite side of the box, or the fact that if she had used one hand to move the blades and another to grab the syringe, but she also didn't notice that the blades would most certainly rip open her arms if she stuck two hands in. This trap proves that in the Saw universe, the most obvious plan of action isn't always the wisest.

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6. Razor Wire Maze

Like the steam maze, the razor wire maze just seems like an awful trap. Not only did the victim of this trap have to avoid cutting himself open on the razor wires all around him, he also had to navigate the chicken-wire corridors that would most certainly blend together. Tack on the fact that the entire thing is timed, and panic would most certainly set in. The razor wire maze is an impending doom type of trap that some would probably consider not worth the hassle.

Review: The Mist (T.V. Series)

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Converting content for television - whether pulled from books or movies - can be a difficult and arduous task. Television series like The Exorcist on Fox rightfully received lukewarm reviews and even though it was better than okay, something felt missing. But, there have been plenty of success stories. Bates Motel, for instance, was widely popular for audiences and critics alike. Now that it's over though, those craving new horror on television need to look no further than The Mist.


Similar in style to the 2007 film and based on the novel by horror icon Stephen King, the Spike series follows a family of three facing the impending evil of a dense fog with sinister creatures within. Like the movie and novel, the television show traps characters together indoors. In the series, the first three episodes - now streaming on Spike - bring a mother and daughter, the daughter's alleged rapist and a multitude of others into a shopping mall, while the father a pair of prisoners an old lady and the girl's best friend, as well as an officer and a few others hold up in a church.


The series stars Alyssa Sutherland (Vikings), Gus Birney (Darcy) and Morgan Spector (The Drop) as Eve, Alex and Kevin Copeland. Holly Deveaux (The Phantoms) and Okezie Morro (Red Tails) play the two prisoners, Luke Cosgrove (Shiver) plays alleged rapist Jay, Russell Posner (The D Train) plays best friend, Adrian, and Frances Conroy (American Horror Story) plays the newly widowed Nathalie. Each of the series' stars is adequate in their role, but Sutherland and Spector truly stand out. Sutherland is able to capture her role as a witty and protective mother perfectly, as is Spector able to uphold his identity as a caring, but more laid-back father. Each is intently political constructions that the series shows indications of disrupting and for that, The Mist wins additional points.


There are some parts of the first three episodes that feel cheesy or a little off. One pair of scenes that are placed together use the word "bitch" in a way that'll make audiences cringe, not because it should be deemed offensive, more because a better comeback would be worthwhile. These are less problems with the stars though and more a reoccurring theme with some hack writing that seeps into an otherwise good series. The graphics also seem to bounce back and forth between entertaining and just laughable, as some of the things seen in the mist are more visually stunning than others.


The Mist Is certain to appease horror fans who may not mind some of its more questionable aspects. Despite feeling a little too made-for-SyFy, there is plenty of creepy moments and some good acting. Whereas some horror television shows take a turn for the dramatics, The Mist is a welcome addition to the horror universe because it seems dedicated to horror itself. There's gore, survival and an atmosphere of loss similar to The Walking Dead. If at all predictable, this series offers enough to keep attention without requiring too much thought. 7 out of 10.

 

 

Review: We Go On

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The horror genre is broad; often seeping into an array of other industries in an attempt to amass critical acclaim and draw in new audiences. Indie films like Into the Forest are heralded by critics and sometimes lauded by audiences who felt duped by these types of movies' lack of straight up scares. But, the definition of horror is broad and making the club exclusive to only a certain line is only detrimental to the genre. That's why films like We Go On are important.

While on the surface, We Go On may seem like a horror movie - it follows a man who picks up a ghost after witnessing his corpse - this film doesn't follow any particular formula. It's more of a character piece drama that observes a character so bent on living his life in fear that he finds it hard to exist. And, while the decomposing ghost he often witnesses is unsettling, it's not overtly terrifying; and it doesn't have to be. The Shudder exclusive We Go On is a really well-done, small movie. It's got a quizzical plot and a strong direction that sometimes becomes muddled but, definitely pulls through.


We Go On stars Clark Freeman (YellowBrickRoad) as Mark, a mentally fragile man looking for proof of an afterlife. Annette O'Toole (Smallville) plays his caring mother, Charlotte, and Jay Dunn plays the overdosed ghost, Nelson. Freeman is an interesting casting choice and one that may confuse some viewers, but for those open to his character's struggles, will be a welcome change to the typical idea of what a mentally unstable man would look like. On the outside, you'd expect Freeman's Mark to be a strong-willed character but the filmmakers make a point to showcase him as especially frail, constantly needing his mother's reassurance. At the very least, it's interesting.


We Go On isn't the scariest movie. But, what it lacks in scares it makes up for in an interesting plot and good acting. As Mark sets out to meet candidates who can prove an afterlife, the audience encounters three very different forms of paranormal experts. The combination of them and the mythologies surrounding each could be expanded on in a better world, but each is welcome additions to horror films which typically focus on one. The film takes a little while to establish itself, but once the hoaxes are over and Mark stumbles on the body, things truly pick up and make for a solid, if not at all a little unsatisfying ending.


Overall, We Go On may be too much to swallow for some. There are random scatter shots that disrupt the film's entertaining and original concept, but ultimately for those willing to barrel through, there is certainly enough to appreciate. Freeman is an unexpected surprise and an effective lead, the plot line is compelling enough and there aren't really strong enough flaws to do too much damage. We Go On isn't the best, but for a movie that's trying to do something different, it's certainly worth it. 6 out of 10.

 

Review: 12 Feet Deep

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Perhaps one of the most frustrating things about watching a movie is witnessing its original concept executed so poorly. But, even great ideas can suffer at the hands of diluted plot points and an anticlimactic ending. Tack on mediocre acting - partially undone by a bad script - and a film that should have been able to capture the eyes of its audience, instead falters to a point of apathy. This is the case with 12 Feet Deep.

12 Feet Deep follows a pair of sisters with a strained relationship, as they become encased in a swimming pool with a hard fiberglass cover. Sounds great? It should have been. But, the next addition to the film is a doozy of ridiculous proportions; a janitor, for what seems like no reason, seems hell-bent on blackmailing the women for their money that they don't have. What could have been a film of slow-burning survival, quickly devolves into an outrageous mess that'll have even the easiest-pleased scratching their heads.

12 Feet Deep stars Alexandra Park (The Royals) and Nora-Jane Noone (The Descent) as the troubled Jonna and straight-laced Bree, respectively. Diane Farr (Numb3rs) plays the Janitor and Tobin Bell (Saw) plays the blink-and-you'll-miss-it-role as a pool director. Between muddled arguments that seem impractical and thrown-in, the two young stars are done a disservice. Nothing about their relationship - the good or the bad - seems genuine. There is a lack of chemistry that this film definitely needed to succeed. Park makes plenty of valiant efforts but they all fall short of anything noteworthy thanks largely to a script that was definitely not thought through.

As noted, had this film been a basic survival flick, it would have been far better. There was a way to do this and do it well. Firstly, many Olympic pools don't have a shallow end. Including one is defeating of one of the scariest aspects of being trapped in water; exhaustion. Secondly, keeping the diabetes storyline in place, the exhaustion aspect of treading water becomes all the more pressing. Then, without the janitor, this film could feel truly claustrophobic. By showcasing shots outside of the pool, the filmmakers remove some of the atmospheric tension that would build around being trapped in a pool. The bottom line is this; there are a lot of things this movie could have toyed with - chlorine intake, making use of the pool lanes, attempting to break open the cover - but instead they traded all of this fantastic material for a hapless janitor with pretty outlandish intent.

It really is a shame what 12 Feet Deep is versus what it could have been. What would have been even better as a practical, more grounded horror tale of survival is left behind for a truly obnoxious result. There are far too many flaws in the film for any of its individual issues to be remedied. Sad, because its concept is so much better than what audiences will get. 3 out of 10.

 

 

Review: Lake Bodom



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For many, international horror films can seem like an unnecessary and distracting burden for a movie night in. Add on the need to build atmosphere and suspense and many audiences would tune out. But honestly, they shouldn't. Contrary to a mainstream held belief, even foreign horror movies and all their subtitle-dubbed glory can build a worthy atmosphere and provide some truly terrifying scares.

Films like Ju-On and [REC] scared and scarred audiences willing to take the plunge abroad. The fact is, scares are universal similar to math. With a recent upward trend of prevalent horror films quickly seeping into the American mainstream, it seems international horror may be more widely adopted and viewed - something we should all be thankful for. Looking to join this development is the Shudder exclusive, Lake Bodom.

A Finnish export, Lake Bodom (titled Bodom in Finland) is the type of slasher movie that pulls no punches. Featuring a plethora of twists, some truly great creep factor and stellar performances, this campout gone wrong is one of the most impressive slasher films in recent years. Going far deeper than a typical stalking killer movie would, Lake Bodom is fantastically well done.

The film follows a group of four teenagers - two older guys hoping to recreate the real-life Lake Bodom murders, and two younger women initially looking for a party, but tricked into the camping trip. The film stars Mimosa Willamo (Headfirst) and Nelly Hirst-Gee (If You Love) as the strong-willed Nora and quiet and recently shamed, Ida-Maria. Santeri Helinheimo (So It Goes) and Mikael Gabriel (Summertime) are featured as the two older boys who lead the young women into the forest. The film then starts to devolve into a mind-bending slasher - moving from scary stories around the fire to near-countless twists.

Lake Bodom is definitely one of the more interesting, if not at all ridiculous, horror films out there recently. But, thanks largely to terrific performances, some too-good-to-be-real twists effectively executed and a setting that feels fresh; despite reminiscent of most other slasher films, Lake Bodom is a success. The two women, Willamo and Hirst-Gee are especially good in their rather progressive roles as two young women who won't be taken advantage of or tricked. Then, there are some truly entertaining twists that'll keep your heart racing and your mind focused. These work well in the film because while changing the path of the plot, they're easy to follow.

Overall, even those audiences typically turned off by the dreaded thought of reading (what, no way?), should be compelled by Lake Bodom. It is a truly effective and nostalgic slasher with plenty of buffer between the reading (NO WAY) and the scares. It's a movie that is best watched in the dark and with little distraction because the film's fast pace is just that thrilling. 7 out of 10.

Review: It Comes at Night



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Every year, a handful of artfully made horror films seep into the mainstream. Last year, The Witch stunned audiences with its hyper-stylized visuals and dark, brooding plot. This year, honors go to It Comes at Night. Perhaps not as sensationalized as The Witch, and maybe not as impressive, It Comes at Night is still a worthy foray into the stylized subgenre. Equal parts scary as it is compellingly human, It Comes at Night is a post-apocalyptic nightmare following a small family battling an unknown virus. Their lives change though when a man attempting to break into their home then moves in with his family. Playing off social dynamics, familial ties and a coming-of-age story, It Comes at Night feels far more relatable than any horror film should.

The film stars Joel Edgerton (Warrior) as Paul, the patriarchal father to the near-silent Travis, played by Kelvin Harrison Jr. (The Birth of a Nation), and husband to the strong-willed Sarah, played by Carmen Ejogo (Selma). It Comes at Night also features Christopher Abbot (Girls) and Riley Keough (American Honey) as Will and Kim, the young parents and newest members of the isolated homestead. Each cast member does spectacularly well conveying their respective roles. Abbott and Keough in particular are stellar as youthful and committed parents, while Edgerton and Ejogo feel well-versed and mature as determined survivors doing particularly well in the face of isolation and death.  

It Comes at Night beams with plenty of scares and atmospheric tension, all culminating into a surprisingly effective and thrilling ride. Throughout the film, dream sequences helmed by Travis will fill viewers with dread as jump scare feel all too imminent; even if they end up being terrifically unpredictable. But, these scenes aren't the only moments of fear; audiences can expect plenty of moments with shots of darkness and empty doorways. Other moments - particularly one scene where the family's dog, Stanley, runs off into the forest, feel completely terrifying, even though it takes place in perfect daylight.

This film is an unrelenting and grounded journey of love and loss. Throughout the movie, viewers will feel a part of this cobbled family of diverse characters all attempting to work together for a common goal of survival. When gut-wrenching happens, it comes at full force, without much warning and with plenty of intensity. Scene after scene only drives the characters deeper into the heart of the viewer and even when questions of lies and deceit come about, you can't help but feel for their struggles. This is a group of high moral standards and good people, a complete transition from typical horror tropes of victims getting what they deserve. 

It Comes at Night is splendidly crafted. It's the type of movie that should win over nearly any audience through its perfectly balanced amount of horror and drama.  Each scene culminates toward a polished and desolate ending. With a truly great cast, fully fledged characters and scares, this film feels wholly fresh. In the wake of films like Rings and The Bye Bye Man, It Comes at Night is a welcomed reminder of good horror, most closely relatable to the stellar entries of 2016. Audiences and fans alike should be thankful for this movie because so far, the prospects of cinematic horror this year have been relatively dim. 8 out of 10.

 

 

Best in Show: Modern Horror Franchises (Pt. II of II)

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5. Final Destination With some of horror's most fantastical and reaching death scenes, the Final Destination franchise is splendid to stare at with awe. Despite its follow-ups all being even more ridiculous, audiences craved these films and the who-will-die-next suspense scenes. The Final Destination series is so ridiculous but so good, that its force in the horror industry is undeniable. While the first was a straight up horror film and the second delved deeper down this rabbit hole, each subsequent installments only further exploded in grandeur, With five successful films under their belt, the future is dimming, but still bright for these escaping death thrillers.



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4. Saw

Just when audiences thought the seventh installment of the gory, trap-filled horror franchise would be its last, the announcement of Jigsaw came knocking. By far one of the most legendary and notorious horror franchises in the modern era, the Saw films became bona fide classics that received a lot of flak for their insane premises. Often overlooked as a cohesive unit, the Saw franchise is often said to be purposeless violence, but beneath it all there are stories being told. And, while those stories may be ridiculous, they are put together nonetheless.

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3. Scream Despite a now flailing television series which saw a lackluster season two, the Scream franchise is still a modern day symbol of horror. Scream may be in a bit of a rough patch, but to ignore it would be a great disservice to the accomplished work done by horror icon Wes Craven. Even the over-the-top third installment feels like a fresh satire of slasher films, not to mention that no matter the form, Sidney Prescott one our screens is an important enough reason to watch. The Scream films are timeless and deserving of audiences' time and respect.

2. Alien 

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It's rare for a 1970s film to age so perfectly, and yet, the original Alien has done so perfectly. Through expansion and sequels that are just as impressive, each piece of the Alien franchise has helped cultivate a full blown universe. Even by today's graphic and CGI standards, the work from the first two films stand out for their dated, but near stunning visuals and intense atmosphere. Tack on the successes of Prometheus and Covenant and this ever expanding world feels real. Set in the future, each of the Alien movies, including the weaker but still notable third, deserve to be commended for their ability to win over audiences who may not typically like sci-fi flicks. Constantly featuring strong female characters and complicated questions on life and morality, this is a franchise that everyone should stand behind.

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1. The Conjuring

Is there any current franchise with as much going for it as The Conjuring universe? Thanks to the terrifically terrifying mind of James Wan and a fantastic original and sequel, this world has become quintessential in the horror industry. With two spin-offs in the works for the sequel alone, a third on the way and a follow up to the original spin-off coming out this summer, The Conjuring franchise is one of horror's most well-done and accomplished. Even compared to some classic franchises like Halloween, the work done by The Conjuring movies should be regarded. Say what you will about Annabelle, but the honest truth is that that film is not that bad and given some of the truer duds of our time and some lackluster additions in some other franchises, nothing about Annabelle is that condemnable. The Conjuring world is expected to be around for years to come, and rightfully so.

 

Best in Show: Modern Horror Franchises (Pt. I of II)

The idea for franchising a horror universe isn't revolutionary. Since the beginning, successful horror entries have sought to cash in on the originals success with plenty of mixed results. But, a lot of horror fans lampoon modern horror films for their endless lists of spin-offs and sequels. Often ignoring the fact that most horror classics feature plenty of duds mixed into their sometimes 10+ follow-ups. Movies like The Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and Halloween are fantastic, even if some of their later additions mar their pristineness. So with horror only moving forward and sequels and spin-offs sure to continue, the question remains which of modern horror’s universes are best? This week's lists looks at the newest and most hopeful franchises that continue to expand their universes and shoot upward, despite some audiences' disapproval.

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10. Wrong Turn

Will this series ever end? Will the love it deserves ever be given? The answer to both is probably no. At the very least, the Wrong Turn franchise is reliable. At the very most? It's a cheap and entertaining series with a few scares tossed into the gory cheese. Wrong Turn deserves acknowledgement for the simple fact that it has persevered from its foundations as a knock-off to its now fully fledged existence that still manages to garner some attention.

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9. Child's Play

What began as a lovable and terrifying entry into the possessed children's toy subgenre quickly devolved into a campy and now overtly odd franchise. Its sad how oversaturated the merchandising and marketing of Chucky has turned the original Child's Play, an otherwise scary entity, into a trashy and comical so-bad-its-good franchise. In an attempt to become one of those series you have to "get," the Chucky universe has become relatively unbearable for many horror fans that can't look past the films' cheap ploys and gratuitousness. The nails on this coffin should have definitely come before The Bride of Chucky, and the burial should definitely be in place of The Curse of Chucky.

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8. Paranormal Activity 

For a franchise that is nearly emblematic of a generation of horror, Paranormal Activity pretty much went off the deep end in its later installments that chose to disrupt and grossly upheave the mythology of the original set. But, for what it's worth, there is plenty to appreciate from this movie series' cookie-cutter and craftsmen style appeasement. Not even the houses which are relatively plain, the characters who are mostly interchangeable or the plot lines that are predictable can remove the fact that Paranormal Activity revitalized found-footage and perhaps brought in new horror fans altogether. These films feel so representative of modern horror that it's hard to ignore them, even in their later failures.

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7. Insidious

With the exception of the lukewarm sequel, the hopes and future of the Insidious franchise seem bright. Even if you consider the sequel - an at times inept addition to the series - this universe is filled with plenty of effective scares and creepy atmosphere. From the absolutely horrifying and critically acclaimed original to the unfairly attacked third installment, Insidious will more than likely continue with the same fervor as it’s original and rightfully so. While nothing can compete with the first and its shining stars in Rose Byrne and Patrick Wilson, the third edition definitely revitalized hopes for the future fourth and murmurs of spin-offs. Insidious like Paranormal Activity, is a staple of modern horror and well worthy of its franchising.

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6. The Purge

Given the successes of The Purge, it's stronger and possibly even better sequels and the prospects of a developing television series, this franchise managed to create an alternative world quickly and with encouragement. While the first's small scale was sometimes frowned upon and the third faced some backlash for its over-the-top aspects, the winds are strong behind this fledgling classic. From Halloween costumes to its use as a conversational topic, most everyone knows of The Purge and its hyper political style of storytelling. Intrinsically connected to ideas that are even more prevalent now, expect this franchise to become even more topical.

 

Review: Man Vs.

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Reality television is one of America's most peculiar institutions. By far one of the most hated, but also one of the most often watched, reality shows collect some truly odd characters based in real life. Subverting this in what is perhaps the most post-modern, meta ways, numerous filmmakers and networks have made a move toward reality television shows that are knowingly scripted. Shows like Lifetime's Unreal, or the comedic Bajillion Dollar Propertie$, are scripted series featuring similar formats that either follow fictional contestants or the fictional production teams behind the camera. Seeking to tack itself onto this blossoming genre is the Canadian horror film (newly added to American streaming sites), Man Vs.

Like all of those Discovery channel shows following a man entering the wild to live on his own, Man Vs. is a near literal interpretation of these series. The film enters the horror genre however, about midway through when strange moments quickly become horrifying events and our main character comes face to face with something otherworldly. Man Vs. stars Chris Diamantopoulos (The Three Stooges) as host Doug Woods. He is the film's main focus and carries much of the movie on his back.

The biggest setback of Man Vs., outside of some truly awful visuals is the leads confusing personality. Diamantopoulos' character is disjointed since he's simultaneously supposed to be a courageous outdoorsman and television host of a show now in its third season, but is somehow instantly afraid of going in to what seems to be a simple forest. Even before anything bad happens, he is inexplicably wary of this adventure. Had he gone in confident and with little worries, perhaps the story would be more believable. This is the film's major flaw and one that'll set the tone for subpar results.

It's important to note that the filmmakers instantly receive credit for the movie's original plot. While the whole isolation thriller is very been there, done that, making the character a television host who intentionally sets himself up for a struggle, feels fresh. Even if not always true to actual production, one of the strongest aspects of Man Vs. is that it does offer that insight into reality television that media junkies crave. Similar to what Lifetime's Unreal has done for The Bachelor franchise, Man Vs. swipes much of its inspiration from survival shows like Man Vs. Wild and Survivorman with entertaining results.

Man Vs. is a relatively slow burn with very little rounding out a straightforward survival tale gone wrong. In various moments, there are efforts to showcase something new and scary, and at many of those parts the film manages to make ground. But, with an oddly established character, bad CGI and a relatively leveled plot, there isn't quite enough to make Man Vs. a homerun. While watchable, Man Vs. could have used a little more. 5 out of 10.

 

 

 

Review: Primal Screen



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As the streaming site Shudder begins finding its place in the horror industry, it's collection of scary movies, short films and documentaries only continue to grow. Mix in some exclusives and Shudder is well on its way to becoming the Netflix of horror. But, in finding its footing, there will of course be some bumps in the road. The Shudder exclusive , Primal Screen, is one of those bumps.

While not terrible in any way shape or form, ignoring the flatness to Primal Screen feels negligent. It's short runtime and lack of other intended episodes makes it feel out of place. The docuseries looks at the things that scare us and is directed by Rodney Ascher (The Nightmare). Featuring random interjecting interviews, the film observes the fear of dolls and dummies, especially propelled by the release of the teaser for Magic. It observes and how the short commercial for Magic spread throughout schools and how he eventually got over his fear of dolls.

In moments like describing how he'd race to turn channels, viewers can expect to relate to his troubles, but that's about it. Primal Screen doesn't make room to think or react, just sit there complacently, waiting for the feature to end. Sure it's not a full documentary, but the resulting product should do something a little more than just exist. Especially coming from Ascher, Primal Screen feels pointless and cobbled together for money, not for thought. It's a shame though; a lot can be done with the ideas of what scares us as children and why.

Primal Screen would work better released in multiple parts at once. Without confirmation of more to come, it almost feels as if it were some random episode pulled from a show on horror history, scares and future. If there was more context, or even some better padding with episodes around it or coming after, the shortness would almost feel justifiable. But, for what seems marketed as a telling documentary, just isn't. It's an account of childhood, but not a really insightful one.

At a mere 27 minutes long, Primal Screen goes nowhere and does nothing. It's the type of showing that if expanded could have a sense of direction worth watching, but because of its limited time comes across as empty and disappointing. Fans of full length films like Room 237 and The Nightmare would and should wait a little longer for something with more depth. 4 out of 10.

Best in Show: Cannibal Families (Pt. II of II)



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5. Mutants (Hills Have Eyes)

Looking specifically at the critically panned but revitalized remake, The Hills Have Eyes is the kind of gory mid-2000s horror film that had the ability to scare viewers with its unrelenting nature, even if the quality wasn't necessarily there. The mutants at the center of The Hills Have Eyes were so painstakingly prevalent growing up that everyone knew the movie and everyone was afraid of it happening to them. Even though it pushed far into the fantastical, the Hills Have Eyes felt like something that could happen to you and your friends or family, a true testament to the somewhat shallow, but effective film. 

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4. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

Like We Are What We Are, the cannibal at the center of Silence of the Lambs is even scarier given his subtly. Add on the insane intelligence and trickery and Hannibal Lecter becomes one of horror's most horrifying cannibals. He's easily one of the most unsettling additions to the subgenre and even though he isn't the most physically aggressive, his ability to sweep into the minds of those he interacts with is unparalleled. Sure Buffalo Bill is scary, but the true nightmare of Silence of the Lambs is Lecter. This movie deserves extra props for all of the critical success it received on top of being a horror-thriller.

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3. The Natives (King Kong)

Say what you will about remakes and new adaptions, but the Jack Black-starring King Kong gave viewers some of the most nightmare-inducing cannibals of modern horror. When the young girl bites into Black's character's hand I literally lurched out of my seat and had bad dreams for days. There's something about the way the tribe melds in and out of their home structures that makes this group of Skull Island natives especially scary. While King Kong isn't an obvious choice for the horror genre, this movie is actually filled with plenty of terrifying parts - it helps that the opening scenes feature some truly scary cannibals.

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2. Amazonian Tribe (Green Inferno)

Directly inspired by Cannibal Holocaust, Green Inferno is a sickening film with truly scary antagonists. Following a group of social justice warriors attempting to save the rainforest, Green Inferno is a survival film that transcends into absolute chaos. After their plane goes down, the college students are captured by a previously unknown and especially lethal Amazonian tribe and things get very, very disturbing. Featuring some truly nasty scenes and blood curdling deaths, Green Inferno provides plenty of reasons for the audience to turn around and gag. Green Inferno didn't receive that warm of a reception upon release and many viewers saw it as a cheap knock-off, but it undoubtedly made a name for itself because of its splattering death scenes and crazed tribe of cannibals.

1.  The Sawyers (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

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Perhaps the most potent and iconic of all cannibals is the Sawyer family at the center of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. Whether discussing the originals, the reboots or even the additional reboots that followed, it is undeniable that this family of rotating characters is so disturbingly unhinged that they can set fear into even the strongest horror fanatics. The Sawyers are the type of hillbillies that have little to no reason behind their actions; their lack of morals and human decency, their willingness to showcase their wrongdoings and gloat all make for horrific chaos worthy of the top spot.

Best in Show: Cannibal Families (Pt. I of II)

While many cannibal movies feel similar in style and execution, nothing can stop them from being scary. Even the worst of the worst are able to strike fear with either gross-out tactics or jump scares, and for this they deserve recognition. While rarely masterpieces, the cannibal subgenre has gained notoriety since its foundations long ago. Movies like Cannibal Holocaust repelled audiences and turned stomachs, but for fans eating up new cannibal films is second nature. So, the trend continues onward. This week's list looks at the scariest cannibals in horror so far. Absent is the aforementioned Cannibal Holocaust because of its explicit nature that ensures it'll never be played on my screens. That being said, it does deserve to be acknowledged given its cult history and prevalence.

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10. Colonel Ives/Colqhoun (Ravenous)

Odd and at times, funny, the twisty nature of Ravenous comes with a healthy dose of noteworthy horror at the hands of cannibal Colonel Ives. His ability to convince others that he himself is not a killer showcases the work of a true trickster. This makes him and the movie rather scary. While somewhat dated, Ravenous feels consistently fresh - it's contortions and trappings similar to a game of Mafia or Werewolf. By far one of the smartest cannibals on this list, Ives is a worthy adversary in the mystically confusing and comical world created by Ravenous.

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9. RV Nomads (Crowsnest)

Crowsnest is a particularly unoriginal movie. But, through all of the been-there-done-that, it does offer one of the strangest and scariest groups of cannibals. Following a group of friends through the wilderness, the horrific cannibals central to this film are blunt and intense; their RV providing much needed anticipation and suspense to this otherwise predictable film. Crowsnest is simple and straightforward, but it's terrifyingly rambunctious and aggressive cannibals are definitely nightmare-inducing. If you've ever traveled on a country road too thin to pass other cars, you'd understand the fear this movie feeds off of. Even in the open wilderness, Crowsnest proves you can feel trapped; all it takes is an RV blocking your path.  

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8. Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye (Wrong Turn)

Like Crowsnest, Wrong Turn doesn't offer much revolution to the subgenre. But, what it does do is provide viewers with the jolting encounters of Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye. Easily some of horror's most unsettling killers, these deformed countrymen are terrifyingly daunting. Able to move swiftly through the forest and capable of some truly cringe-worthy kills, the trio leave little to the imagination. Add on Three Finger's laughter and you have some truly awful chances of having nightmares. But, even without Three Finger's scene-stealing, Saw Tooth and One Eye are scary enough to cause some minor, if not laughable, trauma.

7. The Parkers (We Are What We Are) 

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By far one of the list's most subtle entries, We Are What We are features an odd, but relatively normal family harboring a dark ritual. And, while the Parker family's ways are definitely sinister, you can't help but feel some sort of empathy for them... Which is its own kind of horror. But what makes We Are What We Are especially effective is in its conveyance of what exactly could be going on behind your neighbors' closed doors. We Are What We Are isn't so much an in your face horror movie, but it most certainly doesn't stop the Parker family from being viciously horrific.

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6. The Starving Men (Bone Tomahawk)

Watching Bone Tomahawk, audiences will definitely be caught off-guard by the film's transition from Western to horror. It comes quickly, without much warning and with terrifying precision. Featuring a tribe of not-quite human savages, the movie makes a very clear and distinct divergence away from describing this demon-like clan of cannibals as Native Americans- a distinction that helps alleviate some offensiveness. But nothing can take away from how scary these creatures are. Taking on the form of people but with far more aggression and literally no compassion or morality, this film will make you feel hopeless as the band of frontiersmen begins unraveling in an attempt to save a woman. The Starving Men are terrifying additions that provide a fresh take on cannibalism in a subgenre inundated by deformed humans.