Worst in Show: 2017 Horror (Pt. II of II)



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5. Wolves at the Door
Horror fans eat up pretty much all types of brutality in film as long as the result is warranted, fictional and generally in tasteful,  good fun. So when the marketed-as-a-horror-film true account of the grisly Manson Family Murders was unleashed in the form of Wolves at the Door, it should have come as no surprise that this unnecessary, distasteful and one-dimensional depiction left little to satisfy viewers. Told through a true perspective with little added depth, this movie would have done far better to stay clear of any real life cults, members or slain victims with living relatives. At least then the very blatant The Strangers rip-off would feel a little more spirited and tactful.

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4. Be Afraid

Indie horror can lead to some pretty great little gems. Unfortunately, Be Afraid is far from sparkling. Confusing, immature and generally dumb, Be Afraid should have stayed out of the public purview. It's a laughable and disjointed little film with little to enjoy and little to write on.

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3. The Bye Bye Man

The Bye Bye Man is a rough film to get through. Melding teen horror, far too many conventional scares and poor CGI, this almost jokey movie didn't raise any hopes for the 2017 year in horror. The Bye Bye Man is filled with unlikeable and generally unreasonable characters with little meat. Like so many made-for-the-masses horror films, like Ouija, this movie felt deeply insincere and unstylish; two things that could have been changed and brought the movie a long way past the mediocrity viewers were left with.

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2. Rings

Objectively, Rings is the worst horror film of the year. In a rare first-person perspective, I've not forgotten how terrible this film was and how more than half of the audience in my theater stood up and walked out midway through. The experience was painful, but unlike anything I'd ever witnessed. No movie I've seen in a theater - big or small - has caused such a unanimous uprising. Tepid, poorly acted and incredibly tension-free, the CGI-fueled Rings felt insulting to both the original Ringu and the American remake. It wholly deserves every criticism it gets, and probably more. In fact, had it not been for one film's release, it would most certainly take the top spot. 

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1. Jeepers Creepers 3

In a second rare first-person perspective, I'm going to declare here and now, that I never saw Jeepers Creepers 3. But almost as objectively as one could look at Rings and personally as a human being, I can say that this movie is surely garbage. Directed by convicted child molester Victor Salva, Jeepers Creepers 3 picks up after the first film and... Well honestly, it doesn't matter because this movie was an offensive cash grab. It's an insult to horror fans everywhere that spend much of their time arguing that the genre isn't filled with creeps and criminals. That's it.

Worst in Show: 2017 Horror (Pt. I of II)

For what has been a mostly stellar year in horror, from big budget masterpieces to smaller indies, there have been a number of misses in the industry this year. So, as the prospects of ripping open some presents begin to take over minds all across the country and much of the world, we're taking a moment to rip open some of 2017's worst horror movies. Like those fantastic releases this year, these terrible horror films come in all shapes and sizes. Sequels, reboots and indies, alike found plenty to groan over. Here are the ones that warrant the loudest noises of displeasure.

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10. Amityville: The Awakening

In Amityville: The Awakening, Bella Thorne continues to jumps deeper down the scream queen rabbit hole and horror fans ask why she's being allowed to. What makes her marketable in these roles? In this film, viewers will continue to wonder. Bland, typical and far less impressive than most haunted house films, Amityville: The Awakening does answer the question as to why it had such a tumultuous release- it just wasn't worth releasing.

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9. 12 Feet Deep  

Winning points for concept, but losing the majority in execution, it'd be easily to believe that 12 Feet Deep would be the claustrophobic thriller of the year. Supposedly about a pair of sisters' fight for survival trapped in an Olympic pool, this movie brings in too many other plot lines in an almost anxious fear of the silent, overarching dread it should have driven (swam?) home. 12 Feet Deep isn't the most offensive release of the year, but it’s certainly one of the biggest let downs.

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8. Darkness Rising

IFC Midnight has been quite a savior for horror in recent years. Distributing some of the biggest names in modern horror, the typically sleek distributors have dealt out some duds, but mostly their releases have been great. Unfortunately, one of their duds - this year's Darkness Rising - is a mark too big to ignore. Annoying, unintelligible and poorly told, Darkness Rising definitely brings the darkness. If only there was something scary within it.  

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7. The Mist (TV Series)

What began as an intriguing recreation of the Stephen King novel of the same name, quickly divulged into a schlocky and redundant piece of bad special effects, mediocre acting and unlovable characters. The Mist isn't a movie and thus it’s difficult to compare to others on this list, but in a way, that makes it almost worse. Given an entire season to bring in the fears and unleash terror on audiences, The Mist serves as a blatant reminder that horror is only good, when all of its pieces work together. Not helping its situation is the previously released feature film of the same name that is far superior.

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9.  Cold Moon

Just yesterday, Cold Moon received a scathing review from HOR(iley)ROR noting it as competition for worst of the year. However, upon reflection, it gets somewhat of a pass in light of movies that are somehow even worse. A mystery thriller with supernatural elements, this film follows the aftermath of the murder of a young woman in a small southern town. Digestible but not much else, Cold Moon feels entirely senseless. The violence? Senseless. The characters? Senseless. And the plot? Completely senseless. In multiple scenes it becomes clear how difficult it must have been to sell this movie to any distributer. There is little rhyme or reason for any of the film's direction and in the end... Well, chances are you won't make it that far.

Review: 12 Feet Deep

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Perhaps one of the most frustrating things about watching a movie is witnessing its original concept executed so poorly. But, even great ideas can suffer at the hands of diluted plot points and an anticlimactic ending. Tack on mediocre acting - partially undone by a bad script - and a film that should have been able to capture the eyes of its audience, instead falters to a point of apathy. This is the case with 12 Feet Deep.

12 Feet Deep follows a pair of sisters with a strained relationship, as they become encased in a swimming pool with a hard fiberglass cover. Sounds great? It should have been. But, the next addition to the film is a doozy of ridiculous proportions; a janitor, for what seems like no reason, seems hell-bent on blackmailing the women for their money that they don't have. What could have been a film of slow-burning survival, quickly devolves into an outrageous mess that'll have even the easiest-pleased scratching their heads.

12 Feet Deep stars Alexandra Park (The Royals) and Nora-Jane Noone (The Descent) as the troubled Jonna and straight-laced Bree, respectively. Diane Farr (Numb3rs) plays the Janitor and Tobin Bell (Saw) plays the blink-and-you'll-miss-it-role as a pool director. Between muddled arguments that seem impractical and thrown-in, the two young stars are done a disservice. Nothing about their relationship - the good or the bad - seems genuine. There is a lack of chemistry that this film definitely needed to succeed. Park makes plenty of valiant efforts but they all fall short of anything noteworthy thanks largely to a script that was definitely not thought through.

As noted, had this film been a basic survival flick, it would have been far better. There was a way to do this and do it well. Firstly, many Olympic pools don't have a shallow end. Including one is defeating of one of the scariest aspects of being trapped in water; exhaustion. Secondly, keeping the diabetes storyline in place, the exhaustion aspect of treading water becomes all the more pressing. Then, without the janitor, this film could feel truly claustrophobic. By showcasing shots outside of the pool, the filmmakers remove some of the atmospheric tension that would build around being trapped in a pool. The bottom line is this; there are a lot of things this movie could have toyed with - chlorine intake, making use of the pool lanes, attempting to break open the cover - but instead they traded all of this fantastic material for a hapless janitor with pretty outlandish intent.

It really is a shame what 12 Feet Deep is versus what it could have been. What would have been even better as a practical, more grounded horror tale of survival is left behind for a truly obnoxious result. There are far too many flaws in the film for any of its individual issues to be remedied. Sad, because its concept is so much better than what audiences will get. 3 out of 10.