Best on Netflix: The Rezort

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There's something timeless about the zombie subgenre. While TV shows like The Walking Dead and movies like World War Z heralded in a new generation of undead lovers, critics have been quick to point out that the entertainment industry has dragged these nonhumans on long enough. However, that hasn't stopped creators from continuing on. Finding new ways to showcase the subgenre typically infused with the apocalypse can be hard, but for movie and television makers who try hard enough, there may be a little bit more to squeeze out. On Netflix, a recently added film, The Rezort, does just this.

 

Similar to Jurassic World, the post outbreak world of The Rezort places zombies in a captive park for rich people to visit on safari. The Rezort is sometimes too much for its own good, but for people looking to satisfy their cravings, this movie is a pretty easy escape. Starring an ensemble of adequate actors who pull together and elevate what could have  been a nightmarish undertaking, The Rezort is able to be just good enough to be watchable. It's the type of movie that keeps attention without requiring much thinking.

 

The Rezort is most effective because it never takes itself too seriously. It's serious throughout but the ornate, sometime-in-the-future setting makes for comical costuming and outlandish characterizations. The Rezort should feel thankful that its cast is able to overcome any of this unintentional ridiculousness. For stars like Jessica De Gouw (These Final Hours), Eden Rhys (Season of the Witch) and Martin McCann (The Survivalist), their turns as hunters-turned-survivalists are especially noteworthy.

The Rezort is very easy on the eyes. Well-made and visually appealing, the film's futuristic qualities are never distracting or poorly assembled. In fact, for such a quiet, limited release, the feats accomplished by The Rezort deserve some acclaim. From the resort itself to the battle fields the survivalists visit, The Rezort is able to accomplish a lot with what I'm assuming was a small budget.

The Rezort has it's fair share of flaws. From a distracting soundtrack to underdeveloped plot points like that of the refugees, there is plenty of improvement that could have been made. There's certain parts that will make viewers pause, like the made-for-tagline, "Every apocalypse deserves an after-party," but this film never escapes maroons itself in too shallow of water. But, for a stumble-upon, The Rezort is an easy and entertaining watch.

Best in Show: Animals in Horror (Pt. II of II)

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5. Lions (Prey)

I first stumbled on Prey in a $5 bin at Wal-Mart. It is without a doubt, one of the best films I've ever pulled from those heaping piles of rejects. I was floored watching this movie. Featuring a step-mother and her two step-kids on a safari gone wrong, Prey features a viscous set of claws and teeth. If you aren't afraid of big cats, I would suggest this movie because you will be. From the moment they're trapped in their car onward, viewers can expect to grip their seat as lions circle the jeep and plan their attack. This movie also has advantage for having believable actors and a stronger plot. I was never bored during Prey, but I was scared.

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4. A Shark (The Shallows)

What could have been a deeply offensive knockoff of Jaws turned out to be a stellar horror movie in The Shallows. Way better than it had any right to be, the thrilling film of a woman escaping a deadly shark is insanely realistic until the explosive ending. Visually stunning and equally terrifying, The Shallows has a lot to offer. At the helm of all of these positives is the very real, very horrifying shark that gets way too close way too many times. The Shallows is amazing. Not only did it feel like a fresh revival of the animal-attack subgenre, it also stood out because of how well-done it was. From the striking landscape, to the vividly terrifying shark, The Shallows made me afraid of open waters once more

 

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3. A Bear (Backcountry)

By far one of the most realistic, level-headed animal-attack horror movies out there, Backcountry reiterated my already real fear of bears. The daunting giganticness of the bear featured, flanked by the practical plot line of a couple camping in the woods left me stunned. It felt as if you were watching a real, live event unfold. While it's fictional, this movie rarely goes out of its realistic and scary premise. The bear in Backcountry is scary to its core. Simply being a territorial bear and never anything more, this movie provides viewers with a truly thrilling experience.

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2. Wolves (The Grey)

Not only is this one of the best films Liam Neeson ever took part in, but The Grey also stands out as one of the best modern survival films around. Throughout the movie, a group of men must withstand the harsh surroundings they're placed in all propelled further by a pack of wolves hunting them. The Grey pulls viewers in by making them question, at every turn, what they would do in that situation. While not always grounded, this movie is an incredible feat with visual prowess.





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1. A Shark (Jaws)

Yeah, it's the typical answer, but it is so worthy. Jaws is quintessential to this subgenre and is a certified classic. Still relevant and watchable in 2017, Jaws is the movie that forced an entire generation out of the water in fear. This movie is golden and not much else needs to be said since it's all been said elsewhere. Even as a child, I was well past the prime audience intended for the movie, and yet I was afraid of oceans from that moment on. Jaws is a true anxiety-inducer and everyone should be forced to see it once.  

Best in Show: Animals in Horror (Pt. I of II)

84 years ago, King Kong premiered. Since then, hundreds of movies have been released that focus on extreme animals and the destruction they cause. But, where King Kong was an exaggeration similar in style to the genetically modified animal-monsters that seep the SyFy channel, other films brought realism to the subgenre. Sure, situations may be exaggerated for movie effects, but the movies that made this list, made it because of the terrifying possibility that they could happen. Maybe they won't happen in such an insane way, or play out like a movie but the possibility of being attacked by a crocodile or a bunch of birds, sharks or some snakes isn't that out of the ordinary. So here's a list of scariest horror movie animals (without the crazy modifications):

(P.S. I have never seen Cujo, but I plan to and like others would probably alternate it into this list from the premise alone)



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10. Giant Crocodile (Lake Placid)

By far the most engineered of this list's animals, the gigantic crocodile of Lake Placid is the stuff of nightmares. Sure, it's kind of a over-the-top and weary in some parts, but the very foundation of this movie was enough to scare my early-2000s heart. It's camp, it's low production value and sometimes mediocre acting hinder this movie, but ultimately the take away is able to overcome it. I am still afraid of murky water and this movie, along with another on this list, is to thank.



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9. Flock of Birds (The Birds)

Production value. That is all I will say. Arguably, The Birds could have been number one on this list. The short story it's based on is terrifying and the movie has some moments of its own. But, what greatly tears away at this movie is stringed birds and questionable graphics. For all the hate remakes get, a very scary The Birds remake could be good, especially if it maintains the acting levels of the original film. I would also argue that like many zombie movies and television shows, this movie offers a lot of potential for story continuation and I'm shocked to not see more of it. I love the everyday-gone-wrong atmosphere of this movie and while merited, more updating could be done to make this movie even better than it's classic.



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8. Sharks (Open Water)

Open Water is my slow-burning nightmare. Every single shot of this movie is so intensely planned and dictated to look real. Even the slowest moments of the film are painstakingly stressful as the couple stranded in the water attempt to save themselves. Open Water is minimal; a bubbling little film with a gigantic impact. The movie's final moments with the pair are heartbreakingly intimate and to me, the ocean never looked the same. Open Water is a cold, dark and unrelenting film and at its heart, sharks run rampant.

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7. A Monkey (28 Days Later)

This isn't a horror movie about an animal? Tell that to my child heart that basically stopped when the monkey attacks in the research laboratory. Yeah, the moment was brief, but where other films with jump scares left me able to cope, my horror-avoiding childhood was shook to its core. When the monkey lunges, I literally got up and left the room. And, while I would argue there are far scarier things in this pair of films, the opening scene in the lab is the only one I continuously carry with me. That monkey is terrifying and deserves more credit for this movie's prominence (after all, without the monkey, 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later may have never happened).

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6. Snakes (Snakes on a Plane)

Call this movie what you may, but Snakes on a Plane left me sleepless for about a week when a young me witnessed this exaggerated, sometimes dumb film about snakes let loose on an aircraft. On so many levels, this movie works into phobias. From fears of confined spaces to those of flying and snakes, no one will ever deter me from believing that this is actually one of the scariest modern horror films of all time. I know that Snakes on a Plane is ridiculous. I'm a fully functioning human being that sees the comedy in Samuel L. Jackson's performance, but the slithering serpents of this movie left me shell shocked well after it ended.

Review: Get Out

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When it was announced that Jordan Peele would be releasing a horror film, there was definitely reason to pause. For one, the MadTV alumni's most recent projects included little to no indication that horror was in his future. From Key & Peele to Keanu, Peele's delving into the genre seemed to come from left field. And yet, Get Out makes a strong, early case for 2017's best horror film. Where the failures of movies like The Bye Bye Man and Rings should have left viewers concretely dismayed, Get Out does more than its share. Not only could Peele's new movie lead a new generation of horror, it seems that the film could be a move towards relevancy in the industry. Completely topical, equally funny as it is scary and well-acted, the comedian's endeavor shouldn't go unnoticed by anyone, whether fan of horror or not.

Get Out tells the story of Chris, played by Daniel Kaluuya (Black Mirror), and his girlfriend, Rose, played by Allison Williams (Girls), who go to visit her family's isolated home in the country. Once there, Chris soon realizes that something is wrong, not only with the too accepting family, but also with the other people of color around him. Far above average, the plot of Get Out is the rare movie that compellingly combines relevant social tensions with horror and comedy. Not only is Get Out a fantastic modern take on horror, Peele's comedic past is also prevalent throughout. Get Out should be required viewing.

The acting alone in this movie is worthwhile. From start to finish every character that viewers encounter is played perfectly. From William's Rose and Kaluuya's Chris to Bradley Whitford (Cabin in the Woods) as Rose's father, Dean, the Blumhouse produced film is stacked with A+ performances. Then, there's Catherine Keener (Into the Wild) as Rose's psychiatrist mother. By far one of the best performances of the year so far, Keener's character is quietly evil and consistently in control, from the moments she asks to hypnotize Chris to the movie's finish, she is truly icing on top of the cake. The sprinkles on the cake come from Betty Gabriel (The Purge: Election Year) who's turn as the housekeeper, Georgina are unmatched.

Get Out also comes with its fair share of over-the-top jump scares and suspenseful moments. Moments like when the couple hit a deer or when driving or pretty much any moment the equally prim and terrifying housekeeper, Georgina appears, provide some thrills that are meant to startle then laugh. These are scares done intentionally and well, sometimes for the comedy, sometimes for the jolt. The comedy, especially from the minor characters is also worth noting.

What makes Get Out great, when it could have just been good, is its use of cultural themes.

Whether it's the smaller moments like an approaching cop car later in the movie (can't delve too deeply without giving a lot away) or some more explicit themes like the fact that Dean repeatedly says he would have voted for Obama a third time, it’s clear that Jordan Peele and Get Out want to show that racism isn't dead and even the smallest gestures by members of the majority, may not be intentionally racist, but are certainly still relevant.

All of the hoot-and-hollering for Get Out is well-deserved. Each and every moment of this stellar movie simultaneously works on a number of levels. It's funny, subtle, subversive and scary - each in more than one way. Whether it's the movie's ability to capture the perspective of a marginalized identity to be consumed by a wide audience in an understandable way, or the ability for the film to provide a haunting plot that has comedy tossed in, everything about Get Out is well thought out and terrific. It will more than likely be one of the best horror movies, and one of the best movies of 2017. 9 out of 10.

Best in Show: Horror-Comedy (Pt. II of II)

Here's the follow up to yesterday's list!

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5. Zombeavers

Do not miss this movie. It is gloriously awful. As someone who typically hates that, the fact that somehow Zombeavers is worthwhile should make people pause. It's hilarious and weird and like Black Sheep, it's a zombie-wereanimal film that is so hilarious in its faults that it makes for something amazing. Yeah, I hate movies like this, but Zombeavers is so endearingly awful and intentional that everything works.  Missing this movie (currently on Netflix) should be punishable.



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4. What We Do in the Shadows

If Slither is this list's horror-leaner, then What We Do in the Shadows is the comedy one. I'm a sucker (get it?) for mockumentaries and this one, based on a group of vampires, is no different. Not only is the application of vintage-vampires in the modern world hilarious on its own but the diversity of styles in each vampire is great. There are true stages in the development of the vampire mythology and the research that went into those developments is clear and visible. What We Do in the Shadows is one of the funniest movies I had seen in a while. At times more laughably pathetic than cool, the challenges faced by the vampires are all too human.



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3. Krampus

With Krampus, it feels like everyone knew it would go one of two ways: unfunny and plainly awful or amazingly hilarious and scary. Krampus is so candid in knowing its intentions that at no moment will viewers question its existence. It feels so meant to be- from its cast of hilarious actors to the strong visuals, Krampus is good for a watch year-round. What makes Krampus spectacular is that it never feels dumb. It's smart and trashy and exactly what you think it will be without the B-horror awfulness that often comes with horror-comedies.



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2. Shaun of the Dead

The first time I saw Shaun of the Dead I hadn't become engrossed in horror movies and even the shortest trailer terrified me. That being said, I was completely horrified by this movie. Yeah, it's great that it’s funny but something about Shaun of the Dead is also so scary. Even the jokey moments- like the zombie trapped on the pole, left me deeply unsettled. It definitely feels like one of the best zombie movies around, even better than some of the more serious ones. Shaun of the Dead is silly, but also really good.

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1. Zombieland

The only zombie horror-comedy that ever passed Shaun of the Dead in my book is Zombieland. Funnier, quicker and more adventurous, Zombieland also felt very grounded in the real world. Sure, one particular moment with Bill Murray is so over-the-top it's ridiculous (also hilarious), but a lot of the moves and reactions made by the group feel so normal and realistic. Zombieland could have been called How You Would Handle The Apocalypse and I would agree whole heartedly. Zombieland is funny and scary and while it's similar to Shaun of the Dead, its definitely more culturally relevant In its moments.

Best in Show: Horror-Comedy (Pt. I of II)

Defining what exactly a horror-comedy movie is can be difficult. At times, there is a fine line between a few different moments where a film runs too close one way or the other, may feature satire (like Scream) but isn't necessarily a comedy or is unintentionally funny and is actually just a bad movie. With those things considered, filmmakers must then pull off a movie that is actually entertaining. As someone who is openly predisposed to hating the diametrically opposing genre blend, my list of horror-comedy movies is pretty limited. For some movies that lean one way or the other or do so unintentionally, I tried sift through in exchange for very definable horror-comedy movies.


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10. They're Watching

They're Watching is weird. Simultaneously funny and at times, scarier than it should be, the smaller release of this film isn't one that should go unnoticed. It's ending, while insanely over the top, is the best kind of disaster. From the foreign backdrop, to the less than intelligent characters, They're Watching is a heaping mess of strange Eastern European foreigners and eccentric mythology that makes for a frolicking found-footage adventure with an insane ending to match.

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9. Slither

Slither definitely leans more towards horror than to comedy. When I originally caught this film on MTV years ago, it actually scared me and did little to make me laugh. Over the years, repeated watches have allowed me to see the comedy comfortably, while still being disconcerted by the grotesque parasites that deform and craze the townspeople. This movie is disgusting above most else. It's crazy cyst-like visuals will make your skin crawl long before you're able to utter a chuckle, that being said it's definitely worth something for being such an obnoxiously off movie.

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8. The Final Girls

Like Scream, The Final Girls definitely borders on being a simple satire, but hard inflections of comedy definitely permit it into this list. This movie is perhaps the most millennial film to come out in recent years. With a cast of young, budding stars including Taissa Farmiga of American Horror Story fame, The Final Girls has a lot of color and spunk for such a small movie. Actors like Adam Levine (Workaholics) and Thomas Middleditch (Silicon Valley), only up the level of the film's ability to make something that is wholly funny.

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7. Black Sheep

Like a lot of the movies that fill out this list, Black Sheep takes grotesque to a new level. Think American Werewolf in London transformation scene but much more horrifying and sheepish (sheep-like, but sheepish sounds better). Black Sheep is insane. Like a zombie-werewolf crossbreed featuring exclusively sheep, literally every moment of this film is a big, laughable question mark. The absurdity that runs rampant- more than pretty much any other movie I've seen, is noteworthy because Black Sheep plays like it has absolutely nothing to lose. Poor graphics, mediocre acting and somehow less than amazing views of New Zealand, all make for a movie that shouldn't be nearly as fun as it is.

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6. Scary Movie 3

To this day, Scary Movie 3 is the only movie in the entire parody franchise to make me laugh. In fact, it's also the only one in the series to scare me even slightly. The use of The Ring and Signs provided for such a array of material that the comedy benefited greatly over the previous two. It is so ridiculous, so unintelligent and yet, so confident, that it's worth the watch. Where low-brow comedy paired with gags would normally make for a cringe-inducing journey, something about Scary Movie 3 kept my attention.

 

Review: Don't Hang Up



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When a horror movie features realistic elements over more supernatural entities, the work necessary to be scary should be easier. Yeah, there's something particularly scary about a ghost, but there's something even more frightening about a movie featuring a plot that is at least slightly more likely to impact your life. For movies like The Strangers, the job of combining realism with culminated terror seemed easy. Even smaller budget movies should be able to overcome the barriers created by including supernatural elements if they choose to focus on real ones. Bad CGI, makeup and effects can all ruin horror movies. But, for smaller budget films that focus on a masked assailant or a stalker, the costs remain relatively low for the payout that should be granted.

Here we come across Don't Hang Up. Following two friends who revisit their prank calling, viral video days on a drunken night in,  things take a turn for the worst when a call actually comes to them instead. Turns out the caller wants to play a little game with the boys and soon sweeps them up into a cat-and-mouse match. Don't Hang Up stars Garrett Clayton (King Cobra) as Brady, Gregg Sulkin (Faking It) as Sam and Bella Dayne (Humans) as Peyton.

The three actors in their respective roles are fine, but nothing to write home about. For recently reoccurring horror actor Clayton, his efforts to come across as a destined frat boy come off more like a knockoff shell of Zach Efron rather than a fully-fledged character. Sulkin is equally hollow as the more empathetic and intelligent friend - his hang-ups over Peyton come across as immature and over the top. On top of this, Dayne's character is never developed enough to care about what happens to her or where her relationship with Sam will end up.

In terms of scares, viewers shouldn't hold their breath. While borderline entertaining because of its easy-to-follow story, Don't Hang Up never shocks or awes in fears. The moment when the twist is revealed is certainly shocking but more for the visual, and less for the actual twist, which is easily picked up on early. It's as if the horror-thriller seems readily prepared for consumption and then forgotten. The small moments of Don't Hang Up sometimes do border on something more intense, but they never surpass a level of mediocrity. Even the film's climax, where audiences are supposed to be terrified by the masked man approaching in the rain will feel somewhat empty after the placid journey thus far.

It’s a little hard to walk away from Don't Hang Up with much of an impression. For a film with such a clear-cut plot and easily predictable twist, it feels very much like a convoluted mess. There are many moments of unnecessary filler and back-and-forth arguments between the two leads as they attempt to work through the devilish man on the phone and for the majority of the film's runtime, viewers can expect to feel overcome with a sense of complacency, rather than disgust of the movie's quality or fear of the movie's scares. I give it 2 cell phones out of 5.